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Trust is such an important topic when it comes to team coaching. Supporting the team to trust itself – and each other. Building trust between team and team-coach. I had a really interesting discussion with MCC Coach Marcia Reynolds (author of ‘Wander Woman’ & ‘the discomfort zone’ amongst others) around this topic of whether having too much empathy can actually break down levels of trust.
Here’s her article from Psychology Today from April 2017 – I’d be interested to know what you think!
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201704/can-you-have-too-much-empathy
Best wishes, Helen
Link to Psychology TodayHelen, I haven’t read the article you spoke about (yet), however being a big fan of Brene Brown, I think I can add to your question. Yes, there can be too much empathy, however it really depends on your perception of EMPATHY. For many of us, empathy means standing in another’s shoes and feeling what they feel; suffering along with them. Brene Brown taught me that this isn’t so. Empathy, particularly from a coaching point of view, is essentially standing beside someone, acknowledging them, letting them know that you “get it” and understand their pain, giving them space to feel what they are feeling without judgement, ensuring that they are seen, heard and understood…..all without owning their pain, or allowing ourselves to sink into them. It is standing WITH, not standing IN, someone’s else’s experience. I am not sure I have articulated this well, however the difference was so profound for me that it has stayed with me and served me well as a coach ever since. I look forward to reading the article you posted. K
Thanks for posting this article, Helen.
I agree with the person who commented on your post first. In fact, this is one of my favorite distinctions that Brene’ makes. (I happen to be one of her Certified Daring Way Facilitators, and there’s so much good stuff!)
The thing is that when we cross over the line into reactivity, we are no longer in empathy, even though we may have started there.
Here’s a little more on what she says:
“Empathy is communicating, ‘you’re not alone.'”“Empathy is the thread that connects us to other humans. When empathy is used in everyday life, it makes us feel more connected to one another. And when we feel connected to those around us, we turn into better, more compassionate people.”
Hope this helps,
Laura
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