Trust Exercise: Creating Connection thru Vulnerability

This could be done as a training/coaching segment on building trust with a team. I’ve also done this as a training segment with a mixed group of staff from varying levels which is especially impactful in creating a greater sense of connection between leaders and staff. This exercise of course can be modified in different ways.

1. Preface activity as appropriate given the audience. For example, if the team chooses to focus on trust, this exercise could be designed as an introduction to training or further discussion with the team on trust.

2. Depending upon the number of people and size of the room, create separate “signs” that will be taped to walls in various locations throughout the room. Each sign will have written on it one of the following ( you don’t need to use all of these, they are suggestions from which you could choose or create your own):

• I don’t know
• I need help
• I’m sorry
• I was wrong
• Sharing unpopular opinion
• I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake
• Giving or receiving feedback

3. Start out by asking the group “What does it mean to be vulnerable?” “What would be an example?” May want to give an example, such as, risking judgment by teaching content that is controversial. Take responses and could flip chart or just listen and encourage multiple responses.

4. After introduction into vulnerability, then discuss the often negative connotation with vulnerability (collapsed with being weak) and reframe how it actually builds trust by creating connection. You could also choose to do this step after the activity.

5. Instruct everyone to look at the signs posted on the walls. These are often common sources of vulnerability and read each one. Provide an example so they understand, such as “it is hard for me to say I don’t know because I feel pressure to have all the answers and if I don’t have all the answers then you won’t respect me”. Make sure to explain this is only one variation, it could mean different things for different people. Another example would be “it is really hard for me to ask for help. Providing a reason isn’t necessary, but this could be part of the de-brief with the team later.

6. After reading each one, ask everyone to consider one that resonates with them. Or, ask, “Which one do you notice seems to be a reoccurring challenge or issue for you?” You don’t want responses at this point, rather you ask people to choose one and go stand by the sign.

7. Once everyone is standing by a sign, pause for a moment and ask everyone to just notice silently where everyone is standing. Then, after a moment, ask them to talk with each other in their group about their choice, their experience with that vulnerability, examples of how it gets in the way, what might be the impact to others, etc. Give the groups time to discuss. You could list a couple of questions on a flip chart or power point for people to use as a guide to get them talking. All the groups will be doing this simultaneously.

8. After about 10 minutes, have each group report what they discussed. Make sure to do this with the larger group so everyone is listening.

9. While the group is still standing, ask them what they notice and/or how they are feeling doing this activity. Ask follow up questions depending upon the responses.

10. De-brief the activity- I usually find that having them sit back down is easier and encourages more engagement at this point. One option for de-briefing would be to ask each team member to complete the statement “Asking for help (or whichever one they chose) is difficult for me because _____” or “When I ask for help, I feel ____” or “When I ask for help, I____”. You could also pair team members to do this activity. When de-briefing, be sure to include reinforcing the purpose of the activity, asking what they learned, and asking how this impacts one or more KPIs. Look for action planning opportunity out of this activity.