SHIFT – Exercise for looking at triggers

One of the things I have come to recognize in myself as well as in others, is that when I am triggered, it is really hard to have an intelligent conversation. I developed this process over the years and try to practice it when I feel triggered. It is also something I have started teaching my clients and teams so that they can use it on themselves. I thought I would share it.

If you notice you are triggered, put yourself through this process mentally. Each letter of SHIFT stands for something to check in about.

S Self-responsibility = EMPOWERMENT

When we take full responsibility for what we think, feel, and what actions we take, we take the focus off of the external, and put it back on ourselves.
Process: When you feel triggered, ask yourself these questions immediately:
Am I taking FULL responsibility in this moment for my feelings, my thoughts, my actions?
Take a moment to breathe, and bring your awareness back to you and own what is yours fully.

H Habitual Responses = GROWTH

We all have certain thoughts, feelings and behaviors that have become habits, and maybe even addictions. We just do them reactively without thinking. For example, when something is not living up to my expectations, I get very frustrated and start trying to force things to be “right”. This has become a habit. It’s my go too. Some people have habits around their feelings. The discussion of money comes up, they immediately get anxious…it’s just a habit, it’s what they are used to doing around that discussion. Some habits we need to break and others we need to begin. Looking at your habitual responses can become a habit that is positive, if you do it every time you go into a reactive pattern.
Process: When you feel triggered, ask yourself:
Am I reacting this way out of habit? Or am I choosing my response? Am I shutting down, reacting out of fear, or anger, or just stonewalling someone? Name the habitual response. Once you can see the habitual response happening, then you can choose a different response that is more healthy.

I Intentions = PURPOSE

Each time we interact, say something, or do something, there is an intention behind it. When we are clear about our intentions, whether in a one to one interaction, or clear about the vision we have for our life, or how we want to be in the world, we then develop a sense of purpose for our lives. Each time there is a triggered response in you, it is good to look at what you really want to create in that moment.
Process: Ask yourself:
What is my intention in this moment? What do I want to create right now? Harmony? Disharmony? What is my intention behind my response? To hurt someone? To be curious and get more information? To be right? Get real about what you are wanting to create and see if that is what your intention is actually doing.

F Feelings = FREEDOM

Our emotions give us information about ourselves to ourselves. All of us have old emotions stored inside of us that we never full processed and let go of. This is where our triggers come from. When someone or something does something that makes you angry, it is because of an old wound that was left there and has became a trigger. If you didn’t have that wound, then whatever that person did to make you angry, would not make you angry because there would be no old wound for it to irritate. If we can get in the practice of feeling emotions as they arise, actually feeling the sensations in the body, not labeling them or attaching a story to them, but just watching them and feeling them, then they will eventually dissipate. Every time we feel a strong emotion, whether positive or negative, this is the process. Feel, observe, and let go.
Process: Ask yourself:
What energy is in my body, where, and how does it feel? This is more of a “sensation” practice…not a thinking practicing. You don’t even have to name the feeling. You can just feel it in your body, observe it, for however long it is there, and then watch it dissipate. This allows us to let go of these trapped emotions and sensations. The more we do it, the less they have hold on us.

T Thoughts

Our thoughts are always floating through our minds. Sometimes we grab onto a thought and think about it more, building it up, making it bigger, and this creates more suffering for ourselves. Many times, the bad things we believe will happen, never happen, but in the meantime we have gotten ourselves so worked up over them. And it was only a thought. There was no reality to it at all actually. We also have old “stories” about people or situations or experiences.
Process: Ask yourself:
What is my story or belief about what this person said or did? What do I believe is true about me? What do I believe is true about them? What if I didn’t have this belief? Would that change my thoughts or stories about this situation? Just watch and observe your thoughts around things. It isn’t about getting hooked by them. It’s about allowing them to be there and let them pass through. Process, observe, let go.

As we go through this process with each time we get triggered…it gets faster and faster. At some point we start to do these things simultaneously and you can SHIFT very quickly from being triggered to letting it go and coming back to the conversation in a more present way.