This is an example of what the team came up with after we had worked with the Toxins and We laid out various Antidotes on the floor and people could choose one and commit to being the ‘keeper’ of that Antidote for the team as a way of ridding the Toxins from their team…this was very powerful exercise for them. They then put it into a table (table did not copy over very well)
Team Toxins
Keepers of the Antidotes
Insert Name Articulate Emotions: when we share feelings openly and honestly, we build trust if it is done in a responsible and respectful way. We can also create awareness or sooth a system by articulating in a neutral way what we are noticing in the emotional field. When we articulate feelings openly it keeps them from leaking out in a reactive way and reduces misunderstanding
Insert Name Curiosity: This is about taking an inquisitive interest in others’ concerns. It includes asking questions (WHAT questions)with a desire or motive to learn and investigate rather than problem solve or draw conclusions
Insert Name Ventilate: This is about creating a safe container for yourself and others by giving someone the opportunity to clear what they are feeling. Its like they are yelling into an empty room. Distinguish between ‘clearing’ and constructive dialogue. Stay neutral
Insert Name Notice rather than interpret: What are the facts of the situation? Distinguish between facts, thoughts and feelings. Talk about what you can observe not your interpretation of someone’s actions
Insert Name Making Requests: Behind every criticism is a wish or an unmet request – change your criticism to a request. Address the behaviour you don’t like rather than attacking the person. Use ‘I’ statements
Insert Name Finding Common Ground: This is about finding places where there is alignment between two or more parties. It is about exploring options and paying attention to shared interests and common experiences. As an example, if two people in a conflict are frustrated – this is a shared experience and something that can create empathy once both people recognize that they are having the same emotional response to the situation
Insert Name 2% Truth: Sometimes we react negatively because it feels like an exaggeration or we can’t really identify at all with the criticism. What is 2% of what they are saying is true?
Insert Name Reaching Out: This is about taking the first steps to make amends or simply reopen communication. John Gottman calls this a repair bid and views it as a vital skill for healthy relationships. It takes courage to reach out but the rewards are high because it can open up communication and help people move forward toward greater shared understanding
