Breaking through Cynicism about Positivity

[Amy Daws]

Breaking Through Cynicism about Positivity
by Amy Daws, MA PCC

The notion of positive thinking often meets with raised eyebrows or outright skepticism because of experiences with what is sometimes known as toxic positivity. Many of us have faced moments where someone responds to our genuine struggles with glib clichés like, “Just stay positive!” or “Keep on keeping on!” These dismissive remarks can feel shallow and invalidating, especially when we’re grappling with complex challenges that demand real acknowledgment and thoughtful solutions.

I recall a personal experience when I shared a strategy to navigate a difficult and deeply personal people dynamic. Instead of engaging with my concerns, my confidant responded, “Don’t think that—you might make it happen!” It felt as though my thoughts were being policed, and the response left me feeling dismissed, and even controlled. Rather than feeling supported, I found myself wanting to pull away, frustrated by the lack of empathy and the attempt to oversimplify something so intricate.

For team leaders and organizations who may be interested in team coaching, talk of positivity may initially come across as an oversimplification of complex challenges. I personally have encountered resistance when conducting a business development conversation and discussing the seven TCI positivity factors. One leader visibly shut down, and I had to work hard on a relational level to help her see that there was depth to my approach. Genuine positivity isn’t about ignoring problems or sugarcoating reality—it’s about approaching challenges with empathy, authenticity, and a shared sense of purpose.

In teams, creating a positive environment hinges on seven key factors: valuing diversity, camaraderie, communication, constructive interaction, trust, respect, and optimism. Team Coaching International (TCI) refers to these as the seven positivity factors. When first engaging with a team lead or organizational development representative, it may be important for a team coach to introduce the benefits of team coaching with a focus on TCI’s seven productivity factors. Many organizational decision-makers will be looking at ROI, and the benefits of team coaching to team outputs and KPIs. This makes the productivity factors a more natural entry point for helping the decision-maker quicky grasp the value of team coaching.

After explaining the seven productivity factors, it is time to discuss the seven positivity factors listed above, but care must be taken to approach the topic of positivity with sensitivity to the potential for cynicism about it.

Let’s explore how to address cynicism about positivity by sharing concrete examples that support the team in developing genuine acknowledgement and empathy, fostering positivity through utilizing the seven TCI positivity factors. Bringing depth to a discussion of positivity during the business development process, using examples of scenarios that may occur – or be discussed by team members – during team coaching, can help you bring key decision-makers to alignment, reassuring them that as team coach, you will not be offering pep talks or superficial solutions.

Remember that key decision-makers may need to hear your anecdotes and examples in order to develop a vision for how team coaching will benefit their team!

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1. Values Diversity: “Show me you see me.”
Acknowledgement: Many people feel unseen or undervalued when their perspectives differ from the group. Start by openly acknowledging the unique contributions individuals bring.
Example: During a brainstorming session, someone proposes an unconventional idea. Instead of dismissing it or expressing doubts, the team coach says, “That’s a different angle, and it might lead us to something unexpected. Let’s explore it further.”
This simple act demonstrates that their input matters, encouraging others to contribute without fear of judgment. When the team coach models this positive behavior, it helps participants begin to imagine ways they can demonstrate that they, too, value diversity.

2. Camaraderie: “I’ve got your back.”
Empathy: When people feel isolated, they cannot access their natural creativity. They need to feel supported by the team. Build camaraderie by fostering moments of shared humanity.
Example: When a team member mentions feeling overwhelmed, the team coach will engage team members in exploring ways to step in to help each other. Team coach will ask powerful questions helping team members think about ways to support one another, perhaps agreeing to say, “You’ve been juggling a lot—how can I support you today?” Small gestures like offering to take a task off their plate, or simply checking in, can create bonds of mutual care.

3. Communication: “Let’s talk—and really listen.”
Acknowledgement: People grow cynical when they feel unheard. Effective communication requires not just speaking but listening actively and validating emotions.
Example: A team member raises a concern about a project deadline. Instead of brushing it off, team coach may respond with, “I hear you’re worried about the timeline. Can you share more with the team about what’s feeling tight?”
This response not only acknowledges their feelings but invites collaboration in finding a solution.

4. Constructive Interaction: “It’s about solutions, not blame.”
Empathy: Conflict can escalate cynicism if it’s handled poorly. Shift the focus from problems to solutions by addressing issues with curiosity, not criticism.
Example: If a mistake occurred and is being discussed, team coach can say, “That didn’t go as planned. Let’s explore what happened so you as a team can learn from it and improve next time.”
Approaching missteps constructively shows the team that challenges are opportunities, not failures.

5. Trust: “You can count on me.”
Acknowledgement: Trust is built when people feel their efforts are noticed and valued. Follow through on promises and recognize others when they do the same.
Example: Team coach will engage the team with powerful questions about what behaviors damage trust, and ways they can build trust, eg. by expressing appreciation for individual contributions. If a colleague successfully completes a challenging task, the team may agree that one of their norms is to acknowledge it with something like, “I really appreciate how you handled that—it made a huge difference to the team.”
Such recognition reinforces that their contributions are trusted and valued.

6. Respect: “We choose to think highly of each other and to treat each other with respect.”
Empathy: Respecting one another means seeing their actions and efforts with positive regard—it means treating each other with kindness and dignity, and assuming good intent.
Example: When something goes wrong, team members can talk about it in ways that are empowering, not judgmental. The team coach will stimulate a conversation to help the team think out loud about what fosters an atmosphere of respect. They may agree to say, “I hadn’t looked at it that way. Can you explain more about what led to that decision?” rather than launching right into a critique of it.
This shows respect for their viewpoint while encouraging open dialogue.

7. Optimism: “We can find the way together.”
Acknowledgement: Optimism isn’t about ignoring the very real obstacles to achieving the vision—it’s about believing in the team’s ability to overcome them.
Example: During a difficult project phase, the team coach will acknowledge the struggle while focusing on progress: “This is tough, but look how far you’ve come. How would you like to navigate the rest as a team?”
This realistic optimism helps maintain morale without feeling disingenuous.
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Breaking the Cynicism Cycle

When key decision-makers understand that the Team Diagnostic Assessment’s seven positivity factors refer to a deep, heartfelt positive mindset that influences the team behaviors described in the above examples (rather than a superficial emphasis on positive thinking) their cynicism will fade. As team coaches, we help teams build behavior patterns of genuine acknowledgement and empathy, which in turn build the foundation for a positive, healthy team—one that thrives because of its diversity, camaraderie, communication, constructive interaction, trust, respect, and optimism.
The key is authenticity. Positivity doesn’t need to be flashy or over the top. It just needs to be real. By taking small, intentional steps to meet others where they are, you’ll create an environment where positivity feels natural, not forced.
As the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Prove it through actions that acknowledge and empathize with their unique experiences—and watch your team flourish.

Amy Daws, MA PCC is the founder of Growing Global Leaders, a coaching and consulting organization dedicated to developing leaders with cultural awareness and the skills to build effective, productive relationships in diverse work environments. As a dual UK and US citizen and a bilingual coach with over 20 years in leadership development on both sides of the Atlantic, Amy’s clients span fields as varied as education, technology, nonprofit, and science. Amy is an instructor of the Leadership Coaching for Organizational Performance (LCOP) postgraduate program at several east coast universities and is a certified Designing Your Life facilitator who is passionate about bringing out the best in teams.

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