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Hello Fellow Coaches,
Below I wanted to share an insightful article that speaks to the “Optimism” indicator in the model. The essence is that we need to recognize the negatives without dwelling in them; instead we need to apply our strengths and values to pave the path for positive living. Hope you enjoy!
POSITIVITY: DENY THE NEGATIVES?
June 10, 2018
Dr. William Larkin
Applied Neuroscience Institute BlogThe skills of positivity, which really means evolution, enable us to more easily deal with negativity and defensiveness.
At the root of our negativity is the way we self-sabotage, our defensiveness, the things we do when we feel threatened.
The part of us that brings us down, that is convinced that we are not worth much. It is the part that lives in wherever we reject who we are.
These mechanisms and systems of defense are entrenched, but they can be changed by the tools of positivity.
Self-sabotage is often what people do when the feel good for a while. Self-sabotage is what we do to in avoiding the change and transition that life is pushing us toward.
We balk at growing and being better and stronger.
It can seem too good to be true and unfamiliar.
You are evolving always toward higher and higher levels of reasoning and creating. The structures of your brain are changing and growing, and you are always growing smarter, if you allow it. Intelligence is not fixed. It grows if we allow novelty to happen.
Living in an UpSpiral is like lubricating your brain to grow, to learn, to be open, and to have more options.
Our own self sabotage wants us to stay put, doubt ourselves, be safe, take no risks, shut down, and shut off.
It is out for nothing less than our self-destruction because its grounded in our self-rejection and the sense in us that we don’t deserve the best things in life. Self sabotage exists is how we believe that we don’t have the right to be happy.
You cannot deal with self-sabotage by using negative tools or by digging up negative memories and talking about how hurt you have been. That just reinforces the negative memories the brain is trying to heal.
But you also can’t deny the negative.
Recognize it without reliving it.
Try this.
Take a good look at the negative, take a good look at any negative memories that seem to be following you around and simply pulse peace, peace, peace. That’s what you learn in our Emotional Gym- the agility and facility of emotions that serve your good.
Get yourself to an emotionally peaceful place and then look at these negative things through one of your strengths.
For sure, if you are more positive, you are going to shine a light on your negatives. But you do not chase negatives with negatives, you chase them and spotlight them from the positive, from a higher place and then you apply the tools of positivity to squarely deal with them.
You learn to have a hero for each of your strengths and how that hero with whom you identify will tell you how to use the strength it represents. Yes, your hero will talk to you inside your head.
You have a strength for every negative that occurs in your life. In fact, it sometimes seems that the negatives in life, the problems are tailor made to get us to practice using our strengths so we grow them.
If you are more focused on your negatives that on your strengths, which ones do you think you are growing?
Thanks Shuhan !
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