TPIs: Communication, Constructive Interaction, Trust ASSUMPTIONS AND STORIES

[jolemore]

ASSUMPTIONS AND STORIES

(For more context and source material, see Argyris’s (1990) work on “The Ladder of Inference” concept.)

TPIs: Communication, Constructive Interaction, Trust

Assumptions are the things we “make up.” We create them about others:

• To understand or explain behaviour in others.
• In response to confusion, uncertainty or fear.
• To avoid responsibility for our own actions or behaviours.
• To justify our actions or beliefs or make ourselves feel right.
• When we are listening to our inner critic.

Assumptions get in the way of connection. Leaders are aware of what is fact and what is assumption, and clear assumptions to create connection.

CLEARING ASSUMPTIONS

Identifying and clearing assumptions:

• When you find yourself reacting strongly to another’s actions or words, ask yourself — what do I know to be fact and what am I making up?
• Ask permission to clear assumptions by naming those things that you assume for the sake of greater understanding between you.
• Clear your assumptions — “Here are the things I notice that I am assuming. I realize that these are my assumptions and have nothing to do with you.”
• Invite the other to clear theirs.
• Self-manage, this is not feedback or criticism.
• Talk about what you heard and what you need to say or do to keep things open between you.

“I’m noticing that… So I’m beginning to think… Am I right?”

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