Trust and vulnerability grow together

[Dian Lens]

Trust is one of the team performance indicators used in team coaching. I believe it is the fundament of teams.
If we dare to go there trust will grow.
Patrick Lencioni is agreeing with me. He states that in growing towards a high performance you have 5 dysfunctions: the absence of trust, the fear of conflicts, the lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability, inattention to results.
It starts with trust.
If you want to grow trust in your team that requires courage to show vulnerability. The team lead needs to hold the space and bravely needs to create space for the team members. Brene Brown writes in her book Dare to Lead: “Trust is an accumulation of small moments of reciprocal vulnerability over time. Trust and vulnerability grow together. If you shame one of the two, you destroy both.”
Simon Sinek underlines this message again in his book: The infinite game. To play the infinite game with leaders an infinite mindset is needed, we need Trust Teams. And that means more than just liking people and enjoying our work. It goes further and requires an investment from everyone. Sinek states that Trust Teams not only turn out to be the most vital teams but also deliver the highest performance. To have that we need to feel comfortable to show ourselves, to be vulnerable. Asking for help is an example of how we can grow that. In a trusting team we dare to do just that, we are not afraid of making mistakes because we know that we will not be punished. There is psychological safety. If the trust is not there, we will be more inclined to lie and cheat out of fear, which leads even more to the same behavior with major consequences for the culture in a company and for the continued existence of the company itself.
Daring to discuss feelings in many companies is one thing. Often because (mostly) men but certainly also women state that this is not possible in their masculine organization. We have forgotten that we are human beings and that we have feelings that you do not suddenly switch off at the front door of an office. It is certainly true that it is mostly new. Often our left hemisphere has the upper hand and this is so familiar terrain for us. It’s about neuroplasticity. Sharing feelings is new, our brains are not used to it. So we need to practice with new neurological connections so that we do not always turn left but also have the opportunity to turn right. The good news is, that it is possible. Research on neuroplasticity shows that you can make new connections. In the beginning, it will feel uncomfortable because it is a new connection, it’s an undiscovered place for you, you haven’t been there yet or not that often. Think of it as being in a new city, you have to try to find your way. In the city where you live it is known and easy.

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