Building Trust with Active Listening

[natalie boudou]

Active listening for Trust in team
In this exercise we look at well the team listens to each other. Active liste ing is one of the main tools in fostering a culture of empathy and trust. We ask each memebre of the team to look at a list of listening blocks that are common and get each member to reflect on which blocks they may need to focus on.

The blocks are as follows:

Mind reading: Assuming we already know what the person is thinking and feeling without asking.
Rehearsing: sometimes, when people are talking, we are already rehearsing or mentally planning out what we are going to say next. This means we miss what’s really being said.
Multitasking: Performing another task while the person is talking, such as glancing at a new message on our phone.
Judging: Evaluating what the speaker is saying according to our own beliefs.
Daydreaming: Getting lost in our own thoughts.
Advising: Rushing to give suggestions and solutions rather than just listening.
Undervaluing. Reframing a situation in a positive way by saying, ‘Don’t worry, it will be fine’ or ‘Life is good!’
Being right. Resisting any information that means we ourselves need to change.
Defensive. We must be right at all costs.
Derailing. Where the other person talks, and we think about something that relates to us and interrupt with our own story.

In all cases, we are not actively engaging with our interlocutor. We are either practising internal listening, where we are looking at another person and pretending to listen, but are actually preoccupied with our own internal thoughts, or focused listening, meaning we are focused on what the person is saying, but not properly engaging with or feeling the emotion that they’re trying to convey

Then we ask the team to discuss their blocks in pairs and gather feedback from each other. This can lead into an open discussion on what improvements may be needed and also how to listen more actively within the team.

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