Positivity – Constructive Interaction

[Anonymous]

Here’s a simple alignment coaching practice to get team members to work out their conflicts.

Relationship Repairs

[Anonymous]

Creating Constructive Interaction: A short story

I am sitting in my office in a state of total frustration. I am so annoyed that once again, Tony has not done what he said he would do. He was going to reach out to find out what the speaker’s fees would be for our conference, and all he had was a summary of the topics they offered. Great, but without the fee information, we can’t move forward with the conversation on who we want.

And, Liz, offering to do research, hands me a pile of articles from the internet with no summary, no conclusions, and is delusional in thinking that she has “finished” her task.
So I ask myself: What am I saying or not saying that gets me these mediocre results? More importantly, how do tell them I am disappointed, and that I am expecting them to THINK, not just do? Seems we have a lot of activity, but few results. And I end up doing what I have asked them to do, because…

• Option 1: I am so sure that I can do this better than they can, so I may as well just do it, and not say anything.
• Option 2: I am so afraid of pushing back and asking them to actually do the rest of the project because they are already so busy. I will just stay late and finish it.
• Option 3: I need to redefine our operating agreements. I need to stop the activities and have a meeting about how we share our disappointments with each other. This is unlike any of our meetings, so I need to set this up in way that feels safe and productive, vs. punitive and scolding.

I am going to hold a meeting called Opening Conversations. My objective is to get the team to share what needs to happen to prevent these missed details, so that we can get more done the First time. I will make it safe by hosting the meeting at a lunch hour, and inviting all to come and eat with me. Hmmm, maybe do this 1x/month.

If I want them to change…I will need to change first. I want them to know that all I want to do is listen…ask questions and listen. I will ask John to be an ally, and encourage him to speak first…anything he wants to say. This will pave the way for others. If we don’t have a way to demonstrate constructive interactions, these conversations probably won’t happen. So I will take responsibility to start this journey with my team, and have the team solve this together. I am optimistic about what will come from this.

[Author]

Posts