Positivity – Constructive Interaction / Clearing Assumptions

[Anonymous]

Objective: to take out our projections from the relationships so as to develop healthier relationships
Context : We don’t see the reality but interact with it depending on our beliefs, focus of attention, history… We are essentially making up stories about others, that we interpret leading sometimes to strong reactions (projecting).
To clear a relationship – removing the interference – a powerful tool is clearing the stories you are making up about people…and this is how it works.

Demo: 5 min

Instructions: 7 min each
Group in pair (with your buddy).
A – Ask for permission. What I make up about you is….
B – (Reminds themselves that ‘its not about me, Im here to serve the other person clearing’) Thank you… and what is underneath that
A – What I make up about you is
B – Thank you…and what is underneath that

Again and again… We are looking for the assumptions behind the assumptions, the stories behind the stories… Peeling the onion
At some point B may ask ..and whats the impact on you when you are believing that.
Swap and do the same

Debrief
Who likes it? Who finds that difficult? Who finds that easy?
What are your main take-aways ?
Possible inputs
We are projecting all the time. This is powerful tool to be used with careful attention and with people with whom you wish to improve the relationship whether at work or in private life. It can be regularly used as a relationship is alive and context, situations can impact the way 2 persons relate…

Further reading / exercises:
The 4 agreements (recommended reading).
The work of Byron Katie
[Write a stressful thought in the context of the relationship – Is it true ?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true ? – How do you react, what happens, vhen you believe that thought?
What would you be (in that situation) without the thought ?
Turn the thought around to the self – Close your eyes and find 3 specific, genuine examples for that turnabout
Turn the thought around to the other – Close your eyes and find 3 specific, genuine examples for that turnabout
Turn the thought around to the opposite – Close your eyes and find 3 specific, genuine examples for that turnabout Can you find other turnarounds ? (yes/no?)]

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